By request, it’s time to dive into what an actual family meeting looks like as a sample for you. That way we’re not just teaching “pie in the sky” strategies. Here’s a look behind the current on our April 1st Family Meeting.

We were finishing up dinner and I was debating in my head whether or not we should do the meeting. It was late and we had got home late from soccer and other activities. Fortunately we have the rule of “do it every week” so I figured we’d do a quick one.

It turned out it was one of our best! I share that to acknowledge that sometimes I’d rather not do these things too and it’d be easier to skip a few here and there….but deep down I know it’s much more important to do.

Kick Off Core Values

Everyone went around the table and shared how they lived one of our family’s core values (here’s how to pick your family’s core values).
Logan highlighted “personal growth and adventure” for hiking a mountain by our house with a weight vest.

Mell and I shared our focus on “personal growth” with all we’re learning through the Strong Family Project and podcast. Mell added a few more examples on “wanting to be together” and I mentioned “adventure” for my birthday workout hiking challenge from a few days before.

Henry also went with “personal growth” since it was his first soccer game of the season. He had spent endless hours learning new moves in the driveway and was still riding high.

Discussion Topics.

Here’s where things started to really pick up. Logan wants to buy a bluetooth headphones and spoke on how he enjoys listening to music and audiobooks. When he listens aloud, it bothers Henry. Mell and I shared our concerns about having kids walking around with ear buds in and not engaged with people actually in the room.
He has some good points so we defined what success looks like. Not having them in with others around, not defaulting to quick gratification activities instead of going outside, and monitoring the time usage.

Henry and Logan came up with ideas that would help that success such as only listening on the front porch, limiting to / tracking one 30 minute usage session a day. We agreed on a two week test to see how it goes and let his responsibility dictate whether or not we’d keep it on going.

Next, Henry brought up that he doesn’t like how Logan seems distracted during important conversations or evening routines. Logan will choose to fiddle with something or check out. They discussed it and Logan understood we have a family principle…when someone you care about enters a room, you stop and acknowledge it. They’re more important. Logan asked for 1 minute in the evening to wrap up his tinkering before starting the routine so he could be tuned in. Good.

Logan brought up that Henry nitpicks about his tech use and bothers him on if he has a timer set and is out of times. They both had a real concern, Logan needs to adhere to the rules and Henry needs to learn more about relationship capital in practice (here’s the relationship capital episode.) We decided to have Henry go through a parent to LMA (lead, manage, and hold accountability) with tech time concerns.

Tough Truths.

One person was struggling with their weekly goal commitment with accomplishing 4 out of the 7 days. We went over strategies to help, how it aligned with their annual goal (here’s the complete family goal setting episode). Everyone set new commitments for the week focusing on ones that they think would be accomplishable.

New Weekly Commitments Set

Two picked a daily 15 minute reading session, another picked 10 shots with his bow so he can up the poundage next week, and Everett loves picking 10 mountain climbers and 10 push ups every day.

Compliments.

Tonight, we picked everyone gets every person at the table a compliment. As it rotated around, Henry racked up compliments on soccer, Logan on doing his hike, and Everett on a hilarious rock climbing in a dinosaur outfit adventure. I complimented Mell with her commitment to the Strong Family project and she was thankful I am learning/trying to keep up with all the distribution of the episodes.

Ending Gesture.

Everyone received a firm handshake and two pats on the back. Mell snuck in her hugs too.

Article Wrap Up

This is important. Truthfully, I didn’t want to do it, but ended up as our most productive meeting in a few months. Beginning to end, it took about 20 minutes while we were finishing dinner. It reset the commitments, reestablished core values, and gave an opportunity to practice gratitude.

Here’s the full, free, STRONG FAMILY PATH pdf download for you to help.